Filed Under: Topic > Disability > Pro Eto. "The Sexual Lives of the Disabled"
Pro Eto. "The Sexual Lives of the Disabled"
1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,480 We'd really like... 2 00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:05,880 When we were planning the show, we really wanted you to see your husband, 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,680 at least here in the studio. 4 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,920 So, a big welcome for Elena's husband Pyotr. 5 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:20,320 Good evening, Pyotr, and thank you for agreeing to come on the show. 6 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:25,120 For some people, sex is pleasure. 7 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,080 For some, it's routine. 8 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,160 For others, it's an unfortunate obligation. 9 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,480 What is sex to you? 10 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:34,920 It's... 11 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,600 - Something you put your mind to. - Put your mind to? 12 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,000 Yes, because every woman requires a different approach. 13 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,840 Every woman needs to be turned on and put at ease. 14 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:50,240 - So, how do you turn Elena on? - She's the one who does the turning on. 15 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,080 Elena, what's sex to you? 16 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,720 Well... everything. 17 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:01,480 Life. 18 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,120 My dreams, my fantasies. 19 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,400 I'm tired of explaining to doctors 20 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,240 that it's not really about sex. 21 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:17,240 I might snuggle up to him 22 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,320 when we're in Tsaritsyno, and it feels good. 23 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,040 When we're apart, 24 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,040 I feel cold in bed. 25 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,440 - Cold. - It's a psychological trauma. 26 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:35,880 You know? 27 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,480 So what does sex do for you? 28 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,000 It makes me want to live, to do something. 29 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,320 Pyotr, does having sex affect your health? 30 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,920 Well, I'm a human being like any other. 31 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,720 We share the same human experience. 32 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:59,200 If I may, I'd like to read you a poem. 33 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,440 - Of course, what poem is it? - I wrote it myself. 34 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,880 I will fly to you like a white cloud 35 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,400 Like a light breeze 36 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,200 I'll be the warm sunshine for you 37 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,120 The petal of a beautiful flower 38 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:23,000 I'll be a winter bird for you Soaring above you in the sky 39 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,840 Would you like me to be a crimson star? 40 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,280 Would you like me to give you my love? 41 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:33,240 Then please, don't push me away And don't speak harshly to me 42 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,520 I'll be a crimson sail for you 43 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,920 I'll give you hope and love 44 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:44,200 Thank you, Elena and Pyotr, for your courage and candor, 45 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,640 and for coming on the show. 46 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,800 And Elena, thank you so much for your wonderful poem. 47 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:55,560 I hope you'll keep writing poetry and maybe even publish a book.
Billed as “The First Talk Show in Russia about Sex and Love,” Pro eto or “About That” aired on NTV from 1997 to 2000, tackling topics like “radio sex,” pornography, HIV/AIDS, and, in the episode featured in this artifact, the sexual lives of disabled Russians. The show was a runaway success for NTV and its producer, Leonid Parfenov, but it also became a target for the Duma’s attack on public discussions of sex. Pro eto was the subject of legislative debate around the 1998 law “On State protection of the moral health of citizens and the strengthening of control over the use of products of a sexual character,” which included limitations on where pornography could be sold or shown and, indeed, what counted as “pornography” at all. Yet not only was the show not pulled from the air, attention from the government likely boosted viewership. “Every show was a kind of provocation,” remembers assistant producer Andzhela Boskis. “We received an enormous response, at first mostly negative. Then our guests started telling us how their grandmothers watch Pro eto and learn a lot. Older people would even call in and ask, for instance, ‘What is sadomasochism?’” Although Pro eto was certainly meant to be provocative, it became so popular because it was ultimately about “real human feelings.” The show owed much of its success to the charisma and sensitivity of its host, Yelena Khanga. Combining a worldliness stemming from her experience as a journalist in the U.S. with a youthful openness and curiosity, Khanga disarmed guests and showed viewers how to speak about sex without leering or prudishness. The show was the first on federal television to openly discuss homosexuality, to debate the morality of monogamy, to encourage safe sex, and much more, but of all the episodes she recorded, Khanga is especially fond of the one dealing with the sexual lives of disabled Russians. Khanga recalls that the story of the first guest, Lena, had both host and audience “in tears.” Lena, who uses a wheelchair, tells the story of meeting her husband, the love of her life—then admits that her parents won’t allow them to live together on the pretext that their apartment is not big enough for two wheelchairs. They meet only once a year and even then, have difficulty finding privacy. Khanga asks Lena what sex means to her, and she says, “It’s everything. It’s life. My dream. My fantasy. […] When I’m close to him, I just feel good. Without him, it’s cold in bed.” This episode does what Pro eto does best: it demystifies sex by humanizing its guests. At the same time, it forges sympathy across diverse social groups by showing the universal human need for intimacy.